“Ode to the box” 

You weren’t it.
I gave in.
You just quit.

Take your pick.

Love it or leave it.

you chose not to believe In;

What my hopes and dreams where then.

So here in this mess we find ourselves 

no longer who we’ve been.

Beyond the point of fixing,

Trying not to find it all so depressing.

This regressing is compressing me into some compact thing.

A box.

You placed me there.

It wasn’t fair.

I couldn’t get out. 

You chained me there; left me bare

But you still couldn’t see clear.

It wasn’t just me who got us here.

All in all to you it truly meant nothing. 

So why would I run back to a box? 

I never did belong there

This smile I got, this curly hair, this mind of mine breathes words like air. 

You can keep your box of games player. 

-TiaJayy 

01.14.17

Sad Little Bird 

Sad little girl, who broke you?

Who hurt you so bad that now you hurt yourself and others too?

Wouldn’t give a damn if he had a wife and kids too.

Sad little thing, who blamed you?

Who said that you were nothing and it was you’re fault that no one loves you?

Sad little bird who created you?

Who made this monster of sad eyes and thick thighs that spread easy too?

Why do you hurt the ones so close to you?

Sad little girl I’ll pray for you!

Even though you hurt me too!

Even though I was there for you!

Even though when I cried to you there was no remorse in you! 

Sad little thing there is hope for you! 

You don’t have to lay with men who don’t belong to you!

Who don’t care for you!

You don’t have to pretend that all this is okay with you! 

We know you’re hurting too.

Cuz hurt people hurt people yeah it’s just what they do.

And now that you’ve broke me too

Sad little bird I’ll still pray for you! 

Sacred Thing 

“Sacred Thing!”
Like that talented woman who wrote those poems that Beyoncé so eloquently read from her lemonade stand said

“It is the tradition of men to lie.”

To her.

To me.

To we.

Who go so undeservingly and unapologetically under appreciated.

To her.

To me.

To we.

Who love these men wholeheartedly so foolishly.

Allowing them to take from us what God gave us so faithfully.

In hopes that

Her

Me

We

Would care for it so patiently

That sacred thing.

So freely we give

To he

To man

To them

Something they can’t quite comprehend

The soul of woman we just place it there in their shaking and unnerving hands.

All before making them prove they know what it means to be a GOD fearing man.

I say

To her

To me

To we

The way that things are supposed to be are exceedingly and abundantly above all that we could ask or see or dream!

Take back that sacred thing!

Guard it fearlessly!

To he

To man

To them

Please learn to understand he who findeth a wife findeth a good thing!

That sacred thing won’t come easily.

For when he became a man he put away childish things!

And Last but not least

To her

To me

To we

When that man comes don’t you hold on to that painful thing

That bitterness that hardened heart

Don’t miss your opportunity to have and keep that which that sacred thing was meant to be.

Love.

Nov.18.2016

Love Jones

I was in love with you once but you disappointed me.

This is not the first time nor will it be the last time I am to be disappointed by a man.

Let’s say it all started with my dad. The one I never really had.

Here is where you try to label me and tell me I have issues. That what I didn’t get from my dad I tried to find in you.

In some instances that may be true but all I ever wanted from you was you.

But how can you give me someone you don’t even know. How could I expect you to show me something you’ve never been shown.

You don’t know how to love a women like me because you’ve never met one. Every one needs practice so I guess God made me that one.

The girl that got away.

Even if you don’t know it or you do and just don’t show it, it doesn’t make it any less true.

Time was not on our side and so I slipped away from you.

It doesn’t hurt now because you don’t believe in that kind of thing. You tell yourself if I was truly such a special girl you would have been glad to bend that knee and present me with a ring.

That’s okay too, that doesn’t take away from me it only hides the truth from you.

Sometimes in our lives we meet people and for a moment they mean so much to us. Then times goes by and people we think we can trust confuse us.

They warp our good intentions with their influence and they hide their envy with what seems like sound advise.

They tell us we don’t need each other and we believe them and inevitably we appease them.

I tell myself you hurt me on purpose and that makes you the bad guy which makes it easier to dry the tears in my eyes. Although in the back of my mind I know you’re not a hateful person, but isn’t this how we women learn our lessons?

You throw yourself into everything else. Filling your time with work and drinks and girls you pick  randomly as if off a shelf. Although in the back of your mind that isn’t really how you’d like to spend all your time, But isn’t this how men keep from stressing?

Honestly, I think none of us know anything. We’re all just guessing.

-TiaJayy

01.10.2017

 

 

She Listens

You know I’m not a person who says much about what I’m going through.It’s always easier to write things down than to try and say them out loud.

Someday though I hope my writing will transform to give a voice to others like me who get lost in the sound.

To finally show the world that just because a Queen doesn’t speak doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a crown. 

There are plenty who look down and undervalue the beauty in her silence.

They’ll say, 

“If she can’t speak up why should I give her any affections?”

“All the Queens in this kingdom scream out to command attention.”

So in this respect the same thing that makes her beautiful has now made this queen invisible. 

But she’ll be seen again when all the noise goes quiet. 

Because people long for peace and that’s hard to find unless the distractions become silent. 

So when all is calm and they see her standing there in all her soundless beauty, they’ll finally understand what makes her special.

She listens. 

-TiaJayy

As I sit 


As I sit in silence I hear my heart beat.Thump thump! Thump thump! 

And in the silence my heart you beat.

Every lie ever told, each a crushing blow.

Every night spent wondering where you’ve been, I can feel it hardening in defense. 

Fear only increases the strength of each blow as the answer to every question is “whatever” and “I don’t know” 

As I sit in silence I can hear my heart beat.

Thump thump! Thump thump!

And in the silence my insecurities you increase. 

Every unanswered call and every ignored text sends a message saying, “I’ll never tell which tortures come next.” 

As the guessing game continues the heart grows weak and in the silence it gets harder to hear my heart beat. 

What did I do to deserve such a thing? 

Oh I know, I’m a woman so I inherited this pain from all those before me who’ve endured the same. 

Who told you that this was okay?

Oh yes I know, every man before you who inflicted the same. 

How do we fix this? Can we make a change?

As I sit in silence I wonder why does my heart still beat?

And in the silence you wonder why does she love me? 

-TiaJayy June.16.16

You Don’t Have to Disappear 

It took so long to find you, yet still sometimes you disappear.When you go missing people always ask, “Is everything alright my dear?”

I laugh and say, “Of course it is!”but under the mask there’s chaos there. 

An invisible barrier keeps me blind.

I try to rip the cocoons from my eyes. 

With new sight maybe you’ll be easier to find.

Why don’t you stay with me always?

Why do you insist on constant fleeing?  

Are you afraid that if the others see you they’ll brush you off and soon be going?

It’s time now to come out of hiding. 

Those that can see you God promises they will be more than inviting. 

These people with their special eyes they sense and see your presence as a pleasant surprise.

There is a special set of eyes even more glorious than these. Two that were made to see even deeper than you could dream. 

This set of eyes smokey and alluring is passionate for you and always endearing. 

These smokey eyes can partner only with yours because as God created it together you see more. 

A pair made in heaven crisp and clear as the ocean but still fiery and fleeting as smoke in the night. 

This bond can’t be broken as it is ordained by the most high.

There’s no more need to go missing the only outcome there is missing a blessing.

You don’t have to disappear there are people who need you here. They search for you and wait to hear all that you’ve been given.

So please don’t make yourself invisible you are so much more than you appear!